my list...

I listen to a lot of radio. The show I listen to in the mornings has a feature where every week they present a "list of things that must go", alternating weeks with their personal lists and listeners' lists. I had my list read once. It included, among other things, people who bring a radio to a sporting event so that they can listen to the event they're attending. The lists can get pretty nasty. The idea behind this feature is that if you can hear this list, and you're doing what is listed, just STOP. It's all about making the world a better place.

My list here today is different. It is not meant to offend, nor to send a message to anyone that they must stop anything at all. It is merely my own list of things I could do without.

Lest you get the impression that I think myself without flaw, let me assure you that I am fully aware that there are many, many things about myself that most others could do without. Namely, my being so particular about loading my dishwasher and doing my laundry - you'd think that a person so concerned with these chores would do them more often. Also, my manner of divulging a seven-minute diatribe in response to a simple question when a five-word answer will suffice (I've actually seen my "friends" cast looks at one another when I do this). And, of course, my ridiculous habit (obsession) of watching movies over and over and over and over, memorizing and analyzing them...and I prefer to watch movies with the subtitles on.

I know there are more. No need to enlighten me.


Once again, I'm not trying to single people or behaviors out with any malicious intent...I just need to get these out in the open, and hey - it's my blog.

My list of things I could do without:

~ Albertson's grocery store on the corner of 500 West and Center Street in Provo: I hate you. You smell like garbage water. For the love, take some lysol - I know it's there, I've seen it in aisle 18 - and soak yourself. I hate your slow checkout lines and those round turntable belt-thingeys. Most of all, I hate that you're on the way home.

~ The sound of diesel trucks.

~ Olives.

~ Now, I am not a fashion expert, but I have to say this: Nylons with open-toed shoes. C'mon, ladies. It's summer. Wear those sandals with prettily painted toes, not hose. Hm. Toes not hose. Maybe that can be my new platform.

~ Wet socks. Worse is just one wet sock.

~ People asking me if Curly's hair (all of my girls' hair, actually) is naturally curly. Seriously? What's the alternative? That I took her to a stylist and she just sat reverently at a salon for three hours waiting for a perm to set? (Have you met my children?) Does it look like a hairstyle that I'd give her because it's so easy to style? Because she likes it when I brush all the tangles out?

~ Again with the fashion: denim and flip-flops at church. Denim is just too cazh. And while I realize that flip-flops have come a long way recently and are considered as something that can be worn with anything from a swimsuit to a cocktail dress, I just can't get over the fact that theyr'e, well, flip flops and they're at church.

~ Madonna.

~ People talking about how they don't like pizza. You don't like pizza? - fine. But when you talk about it in front of other people, even brag about it, it makes you look like a communist, which you are.

This list will grow, probably. Maybe what's on it will change. Maybe not.

What's on your list?