is no news good news?

I suppose the answer to that question would be: it all depends.

Scenario #1: My not blogging for over 2 weeks

I received quite a number of emails from concerned friends: Are you okay? I miss reading what you have to say, etc.. It all makes me feel quite happily befriended, this concern of my potential falling off the face of the earth. In response to those concerned, I was gone, on vacation, and for most of the time in primitive circumstances at that, so I didn't write anything blog-wise. My vacation, however, has given me plenty of blog fodder for not-to-far off posts. You can't wait.

Scenario #2: My secret surprise

Perhaps those of you who've been pregnant before have had the thought, "I know what I'll do, I 'll just not tell anyone and wait until people start noticing -- what a fun way to announce my pregnancy!"

Well.

I had the intention of doing this over a year ago, but a miscarriage interrupted my plans. I had been given a November due date but late March ended it all. My plan had been to show up in New York for my 10-year class reunion and just show my pregnant-ness to my mom, rather than tell her on the phone ahead of time. My mom has never been told of my pregnancies face-to-face by me (since she lives so far away), nor has she ever been the first in my family to know. I thought it would all work out so perfectly, but it didn't.

This past February, however, I put the plan into action again. I knew I'd be seeing my family in June, so I just thought I'd keep it a secret until the reunion. That meant a secret from everyone, including readers of my blog (of which my mom is one). I didn't even tell my kids. (My 4-year-old's preschool teacher from this past year just happens to be the sister of my YW pres from my growing up years in NY, so if she [teacher] found out, she might have told her sister, who might have told my mom, etc..)

It wasn't too hard to keep the secret, although I did get nervous when we had friends and family stay at our house. I thought my over-tiredness or food aversions would be a dead giveaway. Not so. In fact, just a few weeks ago, part of Memorial Day weekend, my sister-in-law spent a few days with me and went home none the wiser.

On my last Sunday at church before all my fancy travels (Texas, Indiana, what-have-you), I did let the YW know. It was the one Sunday when I could no longer stand to wear regular clothes - I just had to put on a maternity skirt or else I was afraid I'd burst. Just so there was no question in their minds, I let them all know that they could stop the speculation and whispering, that yes, I am pregnant. That announcement, to the group, was met with much love and many "Awwwww"s.

Here's the part I didn't expect: the reaction from most of the people I told personally, from that point (that Sunday) on. Not as I expected.

One friend, that Sunday at church, said, "So, you lied about it on your blog." I...don't remember doing that. I do remember asking my mom to stop asking my brother if I was pregnant, but not lying about the fact that I was (am) pregnant.

When I saw my mom in Indiana, I jumped out of my car and she looked genuinely surprised, but tried to say, "I knew it." I say tried to say it because I gently reminded her that she, in fact, did not 'know it', and also that it was my news to tell and to please let it be my special news. She was very obliging. Didn't even tell my stepdad.

No, but my cousin's husband did. And then my stepdad told my brother & sister-in-law.

And my sister and her boyfriend told my dad.

Anyway, the moral to my story is that most of the people that I 'told' (ie, let figure it out by noticing my expanding belly -- the way I thought would be so fun to announce my pregnancy) didn't have as an exciting reaction as I thought they would have. It seemed anticlimactic. Maybe their feelings were hurt - I got that impression. Sadly, I think they all thought that everyone else had been told (hence, the examples above of family members telling other family members). The, "Why didn't you tell me?" factor seemed pretty high.

Maybe no news wasn't good news. Because when the news was given it wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped it would have been. My plan seems to have backfired.

Or, maybe it was all okay and my super-sensitive ultra pregancy emotions are just standing at attention.

Either way, I'm excited.

And...





It's a BOY!!!