timeline

~Feb. 2nd: Curly asks, "Mommy, is there a baby in your belly?" She tells me that she wants one there; that Li'l ~j. can have Mocoface, and that she (Curly) wants the new one.

~Feb. 3rd: I find out that I am pregnant. My reaction to my test is an audible: "Huh."

~Feb. 14th: Day I decide I will tell Darin; this event actually occurs on Feb. 6th by way of an apology to Darin for my being so bitchy all the time.

~March 14th: An ultrasound to confirm that this pregnancy is viable; not because the doctors think it's not, but because I am scared out of my mind.

~Spring: I do my best to hide this pregnancy; the only giveaways, if people wanted to pay that much attention, are: my aversions to cooking and Mocha Ice Storms/Frappuccinos, my vicious and nonstop heartburn, my getting sleepy at 9:30 each night, and my teenage-like acne.

~May: I begin to have to wear maternity pants/shorts when I'm having a bad day.

~May 30th: Li'l ~j. climbs in to bed with me and says, "Mommy, I don't mean this in a mean way, but...is there a baby in your belly?"

~June 1st: Ultrasound. I bring the girls and Darin meets us at the doctors' office. We announce to the girls that we are going to have a baby and are about to go take a look at it, to find out if it's a brother or a sister; Curly mistakes this announcement and asks if she can please hold the baby. Also, Curly wishes for a sister and cries when she is told it's a brother.

~Two weeks following the ultrasound: Lots of bribing of the girls to NOT tell any relatives on the phone that we're going to be having a baby.

~June 17th: Arrive in Indiana visibly pregnant; plan to surprise my mom is successful, but plan to announce pregnancy to everyone else is a complete disaster.

~Summer: Get a lot of, "You're so cute!" I like being pregnant.

~August: Have the dreaded 31st week, and I make it through, but not without a heaping helping of anxiety.

~August 8th: Begin weekly non-stress tests at the hospital which will continue until delivery. Again, not because there is any medical need to fear that something will go wrong, but it sure does help my own stress level stay down.

~September: Discover that I have a dairy sensitivity. I don't think it's pregnancy-related, I think it's just what my body is up to these days. It had been almost a decade, but I've renewed my relationship with soy milk.

~September 7th: Am told I'll be induced; reason: the doctors would feel awful if something went wrong last-minute, knowing they could have taken the baby before then. I am completely fine with this. Dr. wants it to happen one week before the due date, two weeks if I'm willing to have an amniocentesis to test baby's lung maturity. Since there is no way in hell I'd have an amnio willingly, I look at just one week before, but decline because this is Taylor's week.

~September 28th: I'm told that I've done "an excellent job" with my weight. I weigh the exact same as I did at my first appointment. I have gained, depending on which scale you go by (my own or the doctor's), two pounds or twelve pounds.

~September - Current: With rare exception, I can't sleep longer than 20 minute stretches. I can't eat because, well, there's no room in my body for food. I thought I was having a heart attack the other night and came thisclose to calling 911. My back hurts: not labor pain, it's upper-back-this-is-really-really-heavy pain. It kills. I'm not enjoying being pregnant anymore. And I certainly don't feel cute.

Cravings:
~Beef.
~Milkshakes (but not anymore).
~Non-food things, such as the smells of freshly cleaned laundry, and tires/parking garages. I cannot get enough of these smells, and I wonder which minerals I'm deficient in to love these smells so much. I could also fathom licking cement and sucking on sand.
~Salty salty things.
~Fruit, but it's very specific -- it has to be just the right amount of fresh, not too ripe, not too...uh, unripe.
~Cucumbers, especially if they're given to us by our sweet neighbors, the Gryffindors, because they had too many in their garden.
~Anything cooked by someone else. Really. Anything.
~Sleep.