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They tried to make me go to girls camp but I said 'no, no, no'.

It's this week. In theory, I'd go if I could; meaning, I'd go if my husband could take the week off from work to be with the kids so I could go. But in reality, two factors get in my way:

1. The stake wants my husband at girls camp more than they want me there. For the past few years, he's gone to camp to chop wood, give devotionals, whathaveyou. This year he's going to go up there (down there? It's south, but in the mountains...) two days, to teach a class on modesty, and also one night to play security guard. So even if he did have the entire week available, I still wouldn't be able to commit to going the entire week because he would be, and is, in higher demand.



2. I don't know if I really want to go. My girls camp experiences were much, much different than what the girls do here. My first year, we went to a campground on Lake Erie; one of those nights, we slept on the beach. I don't remember where we went our second year, but it had a lake and involved swimming and boating - yes, boating! - among other waterfront activities. The rest of the years were at a place affectionately referred to as Ed's Pond, which place is, in my opinion, the ideal place to hold girls camp. Plenty of land to explore; a large pond on which to canoe and in which to swim, with a zipline and a huge tower with a rope swing. A creek on the property made hikes more interesting.



Also, I certified a year ahead of the rest of the girls in my stake who were my age. I just...liked to do all the stuff, and I was good at it. I loved being in that leadership position. A few years, the rain did not stop the entire time we were there. We slept in tents and during those rainy years, everything in our tents, sleeping bags included, got soaked. The toilet facility was a wooden shack with one flushing toilet, a roll of toilet paper, and 50 flies. Sometimes I'd sleep in my tent, other times I'd sleep under the stars. One year, I just put my sleeping bag on the gravel by the picnic tables under the pavillion, and I woke up feeling so refreshed, as the tiny rocks had perfectly conformed to cradle the shape of my body. The fire was used for heat and for cooking, and nights spent sitting by the fire were comforting and relaxing.



I'm not the type to rub all this in people's faces: "Oh, YEAH?!? Well where I grew up, we didn't even HAAAAVE cabins!!!" No. That's not why I don't think I want to go to girls camp now. It's because I have a feeling that things up there are too strict. I understand having to wear long pants for protection from deer ticks and the like, but did anyone notice that it's 105 degrees up (down?) there? Yes, it's the mountains, but it's also the desert. Let 'em wear shorts! And, you don't need showers, they can just 'wash' in the lake. What? The girls aren't allowed to go in the lake? What's that all about? Safety? Again? Come on. It doesn't have to be required, but it should certainly be an option. Some of my fondest memories of my teenage years are of my friend Adam and I (yes, Adam is a boy, and he was at girls camp) teaching the girls at girls camp how to row a canoe, how to properly "fall" out of a canoe, if you have the option (I have a photo of myself demonstrating this, somewhere). We'd row them out to the middle of the pond, have them all "fall" out, and then flood the canoe and teach them how to get the water out, get back in, and get to shore. While I realize that this is not the kind of survival skill many, or any, of us would find ourselves in need of, it was fun. And, here's a hint to the rule-makers: if you want the girls to be tired, make them go swimming. Another hint: don't put the 5th year girls in charge of cabin assignments. I don't know what it's like to have such a large group of girls go to camp from one ward, but I like to think that if a goal was to help the girls bond and to get them to reach out to one another, I wouldn't leave their sleeping arrangements up to them.



Though I jest (sort of) about not wanting to go to girls camp because of the heat and the stupid, stupid rules, the fact remains that if circumstances allowed, I would be going to girls camp for the entire week. The fact also remains that at least two of my favorite women on the planet will be there this week, and I will miss them. I will be thinking of them the whole time they are gone, wishing I could be up (down?) there with them, sitting in camping chairs, sipping caffeine-free beverages, talking about how different things would be if WE ran the camp, and then watching the inevitable drama, built up from months of planning, explode all over Mia Shalom.

Have a great time, girls! I'll be thinking of you as I sit here in my refrigerated house!