totally.

Do you ever find yourself doing something repeatedly, something that makes you cringe because you know you’re doing it a lot, yet you continue to do said thing despite your desire to stop?

I do.

My thing is that I say, “Awesome.”

In my defense, I’ve found that it can be used to express any number of emotions or states of being, sincerely or sarcastically. Here, some examples from my life in just the last week:

~excitement: “She had her baby today? Awesome!”

~relief: “The annual birthday dinner is finally over, and I really feel like it was a success. Awesome!”

~ discouragement: “So, even though her rapid-strep test came back negative, you’re telling me that the lab says she actually does have strep, and that means she’s been at school, contagious, for two days? Awesome.”

~disappointment: “I’ve really been working hard at improving our relationship only to be told that she’s said some really insulting things about me to other people. Awesome.”

~stating the obvious: “Oh, really? We, the all-girl team, won Rock Band? Huh.” (Awesomeness inferred.)

~all-encompassing: “How am I doing?” (pause to think to self: I’m still, and only, weeks away from having my last baby, so I’m very happy and immensely sad all at the same time, and I can feel the depression creeping back into my life. I’ve never been heavier in all my life, my hips ache, my back hurts, I walk like I’m eighty years old, and I can’t sleep. I have the complexion of a 14-year-old which, added to the pregnancy mask phenomenon, is not an easy thing with which to deal; in fact, my face seems to actually be consuming makeup by the hour. My brain is melting into nothing and I have a hard time keeping up with our increasingly busy schedule, my basic day-to-day tasks, and life in general. Oh, and it’s March, so, you know, allergies.) “I’m awesome.”


Still, each time I hear it escape my mouth, I freak out a little inside: “Is that the first time I’ve said that in this conversation? No! I’ve said it already five times! Stop! Stop and say something else! No, just, just…NO! I DID IT AGAIN!” And on and on. But, honestly, with all the bar-lowering going on around here, what else am I supposed to say?